Joe Sixpack American

Word of the Day for Wednesday, December 14, 2011

cleave \kleev\, verb:

1. To adhere closely; stick; cling.

2. To remain faithful.

3. To split or divide by or as if by a cutting blow, especially along a natural line of division, as the grain of wood.

4. To make by or as if by cutting.

5. To penetrate or pass through (air, water, etc.).

6. To cut off; sever.

7. To part or split, especially along a natural line of division.

8. To penetrate or advance by or as if by cutting.

As he continued to ponder his new-found power as the Emperor of the Global Community, the B.O. thought about how so many of his pathetic subjects would continue to cleave to their old, archaic ways. He knew that they would not easily go away, so he decided on a diabolical scheme to somehow collect his opponents email addresses. "Yes," he thought, "in celebration of this holiday season it will be sort of like my own 'naughty and nice' list. Using their emails I'll be able to hunt them down and 'convince' them that their ways should be my ways. Plus," he continued to ponder, "we have lots of land out in the various deserts around the world that we could relocate them in - if we had to go that far, which I suspect we will; after all, they are a pernicious group." So he channeled his now dead mentor Saul Alinsky and asked him how best to go about wreaking the most havoc upon these foes. Saul replied, "Oh stinky B.O., you have made me proud, even though I am dead. You are right, the best way is to divide and conquer. Use the skills you have learned as a young community organizer. Feel the power within you. The Dark Side of the Force is more powerful than even you can imagine. You once were just Barry Soetoro, hapless little emigrant boy, but now you have become - The B.O. Use and abuse your power with impunity, and may the Force be with you!"

--Spy Maker, JSA's Blog

It bothers him as much as it bothers you, but he is a man of faith and the Bible says that a man should leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife.-- H.O. Fischer, For This Land

I will confide in thee. But if you betray my confidence, a father's curse shall cleave to you.-- Sir Walter Scott, Peveril of the Peak

Cleave is actually related to two separate but similar Old English words. Cleofan meant “to split,” while clifian meant “to adhere.” Today the same word carries both meanings.