Joe Sixpack American

Word of the Day for Friday, December 23, 2011

swaddle \SWOD-l\, verb:

1. To bind an infant with long, narrow strips of cloth to prevent free movement.

2. To wrap (anything) round with bandages.

noun:

1. A long, narrow strip of cloth used for swaddling or bandaging.

Being thoroughly annoyed with having been drawn away from his quarters while watching T.V., the B.O. bounded into the main deck's control center and demanded to know what was so important that he had to be called away in such a curt manner. "B.O., we're so glad you're here. You must save us, and save the ObamaStar," exclaimed his Chief Engineer in a most desperate manner. "Alright, where's my teleprompter? I'll make a speech to the world about hope and change, maybe swaddle my left arm in bandages for some sympathy from the masses," the B.O. responded. "No, you idiot. There's going to be some change, no doubt, but it won't be the kind you're thinking of," the Chief Engineer sarcastically retorted. "How dare you speak to your Emperor that way!" the B.O. decried. "Listen, B.O., the ship is starting to break up, it's disintegrating as we speak. It has become too large to sustain itself, and the constant gravitational pull from the moon, the earth, and the sun has become too much on the infrastructure of the ship and now it is starting to fall apart. We're doomed! Oh, the humanity!!" the Chief Engineer wailed. "Well, you may be doomed, but I have to vote with my feet on that matter. I'm outta here!" And with that, the B.O. charged out of the control room and raced down to the escape shuttle, where he immediately secured himself in the Captain's chair, hit the eject button, and flew back to the safety of the earth. As the shuttle safely touched down on the White House lawn, he saw his precious and invincible ObamaStar sink precipitously below the horizon and he soon felt the shutter of the earth as his prized possession hit in the vast wasteland of Russia. "Well, that was unexpected, indeed," he thought. "Hmm, I wonder what I should do now?"

--Spy Maker, JSA's Blog

A child is our natural company; it is a delight to us to make a fright of it, to fondle it, to swaddle it, to dress and undress it, to cuddle it, to sing it lullabies, to cradle it, to get it up, to put it to bed, and to nourish it...-- Honoré de Balzac, Droll Stories

But that was a little later—just now Narlikar and Bose were tending to Ahmed Sinai's toe; midwives had been instructed to wash and swaddle the newborn pair; and now Miss Mary Pereira made her contribution.-- Salman Rushdie, Midnight's Children

Swaddle is related to the Old English word swath meaning “a bandage or wrap.”